Psychological and Emotional Aspects

Hello Everyone,

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and I feel that I am going throught a quarter life crisis. I am turning 20 years old on September 17 and I just feel like I could have accomplished so much more during the last decade. I feel like everyone else is accomplishing big dreams and goals of getting married, having children, transfering to a 4 year college, acquiring a degree and so much more. What have I accomplished? Simply nothing. I am working on my associate's degree at community college, and I work 2 jobs. My life consists of working, studying and sleeping. There is just no passion. I have the desire to want to learn and grow, but I keep thinking of challenges that life consists of. As a 19 year old, I think about my autistic brother, paying the bills (car payment, gas, water, trash, electricity, and rent), my education, my friends, my parents, my other brother, money, and the list continues. I know I shouldn't focus on the trivial things in life. Perhaps I'm just naive. I don't know.

Everything in our world is sooo fast paced. I feel like I never can breathe properly because I am jumping from different things in a nano second. I really need to just stop once in a while and breathe in and out.

BREAK THROUGH: While listening to Christian Aguilera's "Genie in a Bottle," I suddenly feel inspired to accomplish my goals and desires. I want to feel satisfied with the things that I do accomplish.

Here is my so called in progess bucket list for the next decade or so:
1) make beauty videos on youtube again ( start fresh essentially: http://www.youtube.com/jackiemarie17
2) make my video on the bond of siblings with autism (already in progress?)
3) make autism awarness flags for my city for Autism Awarness in April
4) restart my vlog channel (in progress: http://www.youtube.com/followmejackiemarie
5) acquire my AA degree in early childhood education
6) Police Academy (nuff said)
7) Bachelor's Degree/ Master's?
8) read more
9) expand my knowledge
10) smile more
11) laugh more
12) keep in touch with professors who have inspired me
13) enjoy life
14) exercise daily
15) be a better daughter, friend, sister, cousin, student
16) help others more
17) career
18) good bye autism?

(so far the only things I can think of at midnight)

This post is so scattered, but I am glad I got to say everything that I needed to say.
Have a great night

<3 Jackie